Marriage & Money; Talk It Through – Peter Kwadwo Asare Nyarko
Marriage is a beautiful bond between two people which binds them in a strong relationship throughout their lives.
I sit with newly wedded couples almost every month to assess their financial situation and concerns. Interestingly, most newly wedded couples are not on the same wavelength or page when it comes to finances and money matters.
Marriage is based on 4 main pillars
- Love and care: Real oxygen for marriage
- Support: Required to make the bonding stronger between the couple
- Space: Required so that no one feels suffocated
- Trust: Real foundation and a building block of marriage.
In these four pillars of marriage, TRUST has many layers and MONEY is one of them. It is very important for a couple to keep money and finance matter sorted each time between them so that the trust and love between two people never ends.
What could be the reasons for misunderstanding between the couple about finances and money matters.
Lack of transparency
This is the most important thing one should keep in mind in any relationship and especially with their spouse. When you just married, both are nurturing that relationship. At that time if one partner got to know that his/her partner is hiding financial matters from him/her it can be a major setback for that blooming relationship.
Not willing to talk much about finances
Many times it is found that at early stage of marriage couples are not very keen to talk about finances. One of the spouses may think that the other will find him/her very practical and so the open talk about future planning does not happen as needed.
Male ego
Many times the male partner thinks that the female doesn’t understand about money matters, personal finance or investments. This male ego is not only found in the senior-aged males but also in youngsters.
Female disinterested about finances
It is not only male ego but it is found that ladies or even young girls are not interested in finance. Girls start earning money early but they are not as interested in managing household finances as shopping or household chores.
Not finding personal finance important and interesting
Financial planning is considered as the least important thing among a couple. Kids, parents, office work, relatives, household chores are the topics which are discussed among the couple. It is found that the husband runs the house and take all decision regarding money and the wife is the silent supporter.
Here are small things which you can do as a couple to live financial life happily.
Disclose every financial detail with your partner: Your monthly take-home, bank account details, investments, different types of loan, your life insurance, and health insurance details, etc.
Arrive at the same page with each other: Many times preferences, likes, habits and nature of spouses towards personal finance do not match with each other. But it is very important for a couple to arrive on the same page giving consideration to other spouse’s views.
Discuss life goals: It is very essential for a couple to know what are their goals in life. What are the aspirations and dreams which they want to fulfill with each other. Give equal importance to your spouse’s view and jot down the life goals. Arrive at the consensus. Some may find it too early but arriving at life goals early gives you an upper hand in wealth creation.
Decide monthly investible surplus: When the couple plan the monthly budget they arrive at the investible surplus which they can invest per month. If both the partners are working share the expense in the proportion of the income. So that not only one partner’s salary is being invested and not other’s getting spent on house expenses.
Make an emergency surplus: It is a very important step before starting any investment. Arrive at this surplus after jotting down monthly and yearly expenses of at least 6 months. Keep aside this fund in liquid assets. Let both the partner fund this if both are working and before spending anything from that get consent from each other.
Make a consensus on financial products to choose for investment: many times choices of financial products do not match at all. One partner being very conservative and other being very aggressive. One believes in traditional products and the other one is open for new ideas. Give due respect to each other’s views and arrive at the basket of investment products according to risk-taking ability and asset allocation for each of life goals.
Talk about your loans freely with your spouse: If you have to serve any education loan or personal loan or credit card loan . Tell your spouse about these loans. Try to repay your personal and credit card loans as early as possible and then slowly education loan and then start thinking about investment jointly.
Take term plan and health plan after discussing with each other: Take adequate term and health plan for both of the partner if both are earning. Nominate each other and let both know the place where the hard copy of insurance policy is kept.
Last but not least have faith in your partner: You being in any financial position must have faith that your partner will understand you and will help you arrive at the solution. This faith will help you go strong in building your finances well.
Marriages are meant to be nurtured every day with LOVE, CARE and TRUST. Work towards it daily because when your foundation of marriage is stronger, your financial life will also be stronger with your spouse.
